Thirty-Seven:
The Cyclops sent the royal bag sailing west over the bay.
"...i wasn't joking," said Brian. "...we can't do this... she won't want to date an ogre..."
"Alas, how would you know, Monsieur le Brian?" said Spot. "Mademoiselle Princess approaches zee age to consent to zee maturing appetites, no?"
"...what do you mean?" said Brian.
"I have listened to zee music and watched zee television," said Spot. "Zee young women throw themselves at zee hard-boiled detectives much more aggressive than Monsieur le Cyclops."
"...you can't go by movies, music, and teevee," said Brian.
"She may very well wish zee affection of zee powerful ogre to tell her things to do," said Spot. "And how would zee Strange Banana-Boy know this is not so? What does he know of zee maturing appetites of zee teenaged spinsters?"
"...you cannot set her up on a date with an ogre," said Brian.
"'My name is Monsieur le Brian,'" said the dog. "'I cry like zee baby. Because zee magic cloak has taken away zee magic beard. Le boo hoo...'"
"What?" said Brian. "I didn't cry."
"'...le boo hoo,'" said Spot. "'...le boo hoo hoo...'"
"—ok, ok," said Brian. "But if she doesn't like him, our one-eyed friend will be very, very upset... one eye..."
"Have no worries, Monsieur le Brian," said Spot. "Monsieur le Cyclops shall deliver to Mademoiselle Princess zee tortured serenade, of zee desperate and cornered masculinity — from whom she may finally receive zee permission to own what is hers."