Thirty-One:

The next morning, Brian burst into Spot's royal chamber. "Well, I did it," he said. "I found a Greek scroll in the royal archives about the Minotaur. I spent all night translating it."

"Ah, Human, you're in time," said Mimbleshaw. "I was about to give my report on the Minotaur as Its Majesty Spot enjoys breakfast in bed."

"What?" said Brian. "But I stayed up all night... translating the scroll... from ancient Greek... taught myself a whole new language..."

"Yes, yes, Human," said Mimbleshaw. "That's very clever of you. Now stop your whimpering. We don't have all day.

"Submitted for your consideration," continued Mimbleshaw. "Thousands of years ago lived King Jay, of the island of Buchanan, in the Gatsbian Sea. The king held barbecues in honor of the Ocean, on whose favor the island depended. The Sky decided to play a trick and cast a spell to turn one of King Jay's cows pure white and to make it magic and powerful. The king's herdsmen told him that one of his cows had been blessed by the Ocean. They told him the Ocean had trusted him with the white cow for the next barbecue.

"King Jay, however, was struck by the cow's beauty. He named it Daisy. He asked his herdsmen to bring the cow to the palace. They refused out of fear of the Ocean's anger. King Jay also feared the Ocean. He asked his herdsmen to pardon him for his foolish outburst.

"Nonetheless, King Jay neglected his kingdom, and his many wives, to sit and gaze at the perfect beauty that was Daisy. He devised a plan to trick the Ocean. He invited King Potasseus from the island of Bananaca to build him a maze to keep the beautiful cow. After the maze was finished, King Jay painted another cow white with which to fool the Ocean.

"Before King Jay could take the cow into the maze and escape forever, however, his herdsmen told him of yet another blessing. Outside of the city walls was placed a giant cow monument. King Jay was so honored with this new blessing from the Ocean, he forgot to escape with Daisy. King Jay observed the Ocean went so far as to place the monument on wheels. His herdsmen could not refuse his order to wheel the monument into the city walls.

"That night, King Jay had gone to sleep with both the glory of the cow monument and the beautiful Daisy he loved so much. He woke the next day with neither glory nor love. His cow monument was found with doors underneath it open. More devastating than the delivery of anything incendiary or ballistic was the emptiness where the monument's heart would have been. For gone also, like the chamber's contents, was Daisy.

"What happened was that wily King Potasseus had built the cow monument to sneak back into the city and steal the blessed cow. He had stolen Daisy and sailed away with her to have many adventures. It was the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

"The herdsman of Buchanan held the barbecue with the painted cow anyway, none-the-wiser. But King Jay was so distraught he lost his beloved Daisy, his grief turned him into a bull-headed man. And he has wandered the complex and endless maze — which extends even to this very island — ever since. The end."

"That isn't the story why there's a Minotaur," said Brian. "What is wrong with you?"