Sixteen:
A werewolf woke George Muffinson.
"George," said the wolf. "You left your window open. I could smell from your deliciousness that you've been getting a healthy dose of sunlight everyday. As a night monster, I rely on happy little boys and girls who play in the sun for my vitamin D."
"Mom? Dad?" said George. "There's a giant wolf in my room..."
"Oh, your parents already know I'm here, George," said the wolf. "And they can hear you fine without yelling." The wolf asked his belly. "Isn't that so, Mr. and Mrs. Muffinson?"
"—mmh, mmh," said Mrs. Muffinson.
"—mmh, mmh," confirmed Mr. Muffinson.
"I ate them first so I could savor you without interruptions." Like an answer to a dare, they heard a knock at the door.
"Now, George," said the wolf. "You wait here while I get rid of whoever that is."
"Bothering these people in the middle of the night is a waste of time," said Brian.
"I smell zee wolf," said Spot. "A king is not free to simply run from zee challenges..."
"I hear someone," said Mimbleshaw. "Stall for time, Human, and don't get eaten."
"What?" said Brian. "Where do you think you're—"
"Yes, what is it," said the wolf in pink. "You. How can I help you."
"...hi, I'm here to collect for the paper?" Brian noticed the mailbox. "Mrs. Muffinson... I can't help but notice what a big nose you have..."
"The better to smell you with, young man," said the wolf. "You don't get much sun, do you?"
"Not while it gives you skin cancer," said Brian. "And Mrs. Muffinson, I also can't help but notice what big teeth you have—"
"The better to bite off your head," said the wolf. "Like any snack crunchy on the outside, soft and stupid on the inside. Now cancel my subscription and go away." The wolf raced back upstairs.
"You can't escape me, George." The wolf yanked back into the room... a chimp and a little spotted dog. "I can't eat all of you right now. The boy was next. You'll have to wait your turn."
"I am... zee King of zee World," said Spot. "We have you surrounded, no? Cough up zee parents, Monsieur le wolf, and surrender." Brian entered George's room.
"Stay back." The wolf grabbed Brian. "I'll bite off his head."
"Monsieur le Brian," said Spot. "Jump into zee mouth of zee wolf."
"Jump into his mouth?" said Brian. "I thought we came here to keep things out of his mouth."
"...jump quickly," said Spot.
"...ok," Brian complied. "...what now?"
"Now, escape through zee smooth intestines of zee canine," said Spot.
"...you mean let him digest me?" said Brian.
"No," said Spot. "You must leave through zee smooth canine-intestines right away, before he digests you."
"—not smooth," said Brian.
"Zee intestines, they are not smooth?" said Spot.
"—not smooth," he said. "...it's all twisted and folded over, with nooks and crannies..."
"Your Majesty," said Mimbleshaw. "He is a werewolf. A wolf on the outside, human on the inside."
"...sacre bleu." The little dog took a dental floss dispenser.
"What will you do with that?" said the wolf. "Floss me to death?" As the wolf roared evil laughter, Spot leapt into his mouth.
"Your Majesty," said Mimbleshaw. "Are you alright?"
"...yes, i am inside zee wolf," said Spot. "...now tie zee end to zee doorknob."
"It's tied, Your Majesty," said Mimbleshaw.
"...now slam zee door." Spot, Brian, and George's parents were pulled from the wolf.
"...phew," said George from the lattice outside his window. "I smell dog-breath."
"...I'm a werewolf," said the wolf. "At the full moon I need to eat people to turn back human..."
"Have you ever thought about remaining a wolf?" said Brian.
Interlude:
Two months later, George Muffinson spotted the werewolf working at the amusement park. The other kids snickered at how fake his costume looked.