Fifteen:
Brian caught up to Spot and the fairies. "The police should be able to get my parents back now that you're here." The clowns were gone. Brian's parents were gone with them. "After I hand you over to the police, they can trade you back for them."
"No, Monsieur le Brian," said Spot. "As zee King of zee World, I shall retrieve Mademoiselle and Monsieur le Parents personally myself. Besides, zee monsieur I win zee radio contest from? He says I must wait here to be taken to zee castle for zee King of zee World crowning..."
"—wait where?" said Brian. "Our home? How would they know where we lived? Do you even know how to tell anyone where we live?"
"I tell them nothing of zee jibber-jabber of zee human addresses," said Spot. "They simply tell me to return across zee street to zee home of Monsieur le Brian. Now, if you are good and give me zee bath before zee crowning — and let me push zee tubful of water all over you — I may also be good and still remember you after I rescue your parents..."
"Pardon me for interruptin', Yer Majesty," said Sweaty Pete. "It looks like we have some company."
"I am Sir James," said the rider. "I challenge the new king to a duel."
"Why has everyone heard of a King of the World except me?" said Brian.
"The PBS News Hour only now reported the succession," said the knight. "If the King will not fight, then I will fight you as his champion."
"—stand aside, Monsieur le Brian," said Spot. "I need no assistance with zee upstart. Engarde, monsieur—"
"Ahem." The stranger Brian and Roger saw, who abandoned Spot in the first place, announced his arrival.
"...excuse me," said the knight. "The new king and I were about to duel. Can we help you with something?"
"Its Majesty Spot has not yet formally received its crown," said the stranger. "Until then, the dog you've challenged is of uncertain pedigree."
"...blimey." The knight withdrew.
"Who are you?" said Brian.
"I am Sebastian Mimbleshaw," said the stranger. "I must deliver Its Majesty Spot to retrieve the new king's rightful crown and release your parents. To Kansas City, New Jersey."
"The harshest of New Jersey's Badlands?" said Brian. "Wait — both legs? You have two peg legs?"
"It was the only way to pass as any kind of man at all." Mimbleshaw threw off his disguise. He was a chimpanzee.
"Oh no," said Brian. "Another talking animal. Who are you, the King of Mars? I can take you to our leader. He's right here."